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# Points about Tweedledee and Tweedledum
Much has been made of the curious features of
Tweedledee and Tweedledum. We propose here to
set some of the controversy to rest and to uproot
all of the more outlandish claims.
. Tweedledee Tweedledum
-------- -------------- ----------------
Age 14 14
Height 3'2" 3'2"
Politics Conservative Conservative
Religion "New Age" Syrian Orthodox
--------- -------------- ----------------
Table: T.-T. Data
# Mussolini's role in my downfall
--------------------------------------------------------------------
*Drugs* *Alcohol* *Tobacco*
---------- ------------- ----------------- --------------------
Monday 3 Xanax 2 pints 3 cigars,
1 hr at hookah bar
Tuesday 14 Adderall 1 Boone's Farm, 1 packet Drum
2 Thunderbird
Wednesday 2 aspirin Tall glass water (can't remember)
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Table: *Tableau des vices*, deluxe edition
# Points about the facts
In recent years, more and more attention has been
paid to opinion, less and less to what were formerly
called the cold, hard facts. In a spirit of traditionalism,
we propose to reverse the trend. Here are some of our results.
------- ------ ---------- -------
12 12 12 12
123 123 123 123
1 1 1 1
---------------------------------------
Table: Crucial Statistics
# Recent innovations (1): False presentation
Some, moved by opinion and an irrational lust for novelty,
would introduce a non-factual element into the data,
perhaps moving all the facts to the left:
------- ------ ---------- -------
12 12 12 12
123 123 123 123
1 1 1 1
---------------------------------------
Table: Crucial "Statistics"
# Recent innovations (2): Illegitimate decoration
Others, preferring their facts to be *varnished*,
as we might say, will tend to 'label' the columns
Variable Before During After
--------- ------ ---------- -------
12 12 12 12
123 123 123 123
1000 1000 1000 1000
----------------------------------------
# Recent innovations (3): "Moderate" decoration
Or, maybe, to accompany this 'spin' with a centered or centrist representation:
Variable Before During After
---------- ------- ---------- -------
12 12 12 12
123 123 123 123
1 1 1 1
-----------------------------------------
# The real enemy
Some even accompany these representations with a bit of leftwing
clap-trap, suggesting the facts have drifted right:
------------------------------------------------------
Variable Before During After
---------- ----------- ---------- -------
12 12 12 12
-- Due to
baleful
bourgeois
influence
123 123 123 123
-- Thanks
to the
renegade
Kautsky
1 1 1 1
-- All a
matter of
sound Party
discipline
-------------------------------------------------------
Table: *"The conditions are not ripe, comrades; they are **overripe**!"*
# The Truth
If comment be needed, let it be thus: the facts have drifted left.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Variable Before During After
---------- ------------- ---------- ----------------------
12 12 12 12
(here's (due to (something to do
where the rot lapse of with Clinton and
set in ) traditional maybe the '60's)
values)
123 123 123 123
(too much (A=440?)
strong drink)
1 1 1 1
(Trilateral Commission?)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Table: *The Decline of Western Civilization*