The MySQL variable below formats as \"2009-11-05 22:51:26\" when it is printed. How could I format it to \"22:51 New York Time 5 Nov 2009 Thursday\"? (I think the timestamp
date_default_timezone_set('America/New_York');
$timestamp = "2009-11-05 22:51:26";
echo date('H:i e j M Y l', strtotime($timestamp)); //22:51 America/New_York 5 Nov 2009 Thursday
See date() for a list of format parameters. I matched your requested output pretty closely but you may want to tweak it
strtotime() - Parse about any English textual datetime description into a Unix timestamp