So I have a depth map and the extrinsics and intrinsics of the camera.I want to get back the 3D points and the surface normals .I am using the functionReprojectImageTo3D.In
Given that you have the extrinsic matrix of both cameras, can't you simply take the inverse extrinsic matrix of camera 1, multiplied by the extrinsic matrix of camera 2? Also, for a direct relation between the two cameras, take a look at the Fundamental Matrix (or, more specific, the Essential matrix). See if you can find a copy of the book Multiple View Geometry by Hartley and Zisserman.
As for the surface normals, you can compute those yourself by computing crossproducts on the corners of triangles. However, you then first need the reconstructed 3D point cloud.