I don't know if there is a best way to do this, but I will share my experience:
I created my own version of a tab bar by subclassing UIView as opposed to UITabBar. As the linked question mentions, Apple's UI classes are quite finicky about their sizing and I do not think I could get the UITabBar subclass to size as I wanted.
Because I did not have a subclass of UITabBar I also ended up rolling my own versions of UITabBarController and UITabBarDelegate, with interfaces that are essentially the same as the Apple classes. I WAS able to use UITabBarItem to store the title and icon for the buttons on the tab bar, which is useful since UIViewControllers have a tabBarItem property. That lets you store just an array of UIViewControllers in your controller, as opposed to arrays for both controllers and tab bar items.
Because I was using mostly custom classes I did this all programmatically, including creating, configuring and laying out the buttons on the tab bar.
Like I said, this is just my experience, hope it helps.