I\'m using delphi for years, but never for database stuff, but recently started researching and testing.
I must say, i\'m impressed, most of things happens automatically
id have to say im rather happy with NexusDB but the cost for the client/server versions might not be worth it.
it works client/server or fully embedded, simple enough you can have both in your app and switch between them, depending on your clients needs
Oh yeh and its written in delphi ;)
Although I have read people not liking the idea of mixing the two, I have had good results using ADO Datasets as a "provider layer" which then feeds the data into TClientDataSets - so there's no reason you can't use ClientDataSets if you go down the ADO route if you find you need them (and they are useful).
Otherwise, I would echo the comment that ADO is a tried, trusted mechanism that isn't going anywhere. I've always found it more than fast enough. And configuration using UDL files is nice and easy.
There are few other libraries, resolving all above doubts, although all of them are commercial products. But there I am biased :)
We have used postgreSQL using Devart pg components with great success in medium sized database apps. We did some limited benchmarking with this combination and found it 2-3 x the speed of using ADO etc.
I'd say to go with Firebird - is the most used database engine in the Delphi land (see here). For connectivity perhaps is better to go with Zeos (free) or DBX (if you can afford the Architect version - the only one who has the Firebird driver in it).
About ADO: Mature connectivity layer but it will be (forever - most probably) tied to Windows while Delphi will go cross-platform. Also, yes, it tend to be the slower one because of many reasons, including the ODBC drivers which are used in certain situations. But in your case, of course, as skamradt says, I don't think that it will matter so much.
-- Data access components
I too favour the combination of TClientDataset and ADO. Had worked with it in past and I can say it's trustful. The flexibility of TClientDataset is a big gain. DBExpress is good too. Actually, I use clientdatasets with pretty much any data access layer that have an TDataset descendant...
-- Server
Firebird. Free and easily usable from OLEDB (I used with ODBC) and DBExpress (D2010+ have native DBX driver) - don't know ZEOS, but I believe that it also connect to FB. Scale well to many connections and big databases. There are databases on Firebird with 500Gb and many users reported.