Which approach is better: 1) to use a third-party ORM system or 2) manually write DAL and BLL code to work wi
Perhaps a little of both is the right fit. You could use a product like SubSonic. That way, you can design your database, generate your DAL code (removing all that boring stuff), use partial classes to extend it with your own code, use Stored Procedures if you want to, and generally get more stuff done.
That's what I do. I find it's the right balance between automation and control.
I'd also point out that I think you're on the right path by trying out different approaches and seeing what works best for you. I think that's ultimately the source for your answer.