In my application, I want to notify a user, when he/she is mentioned in a comment or a post. The user handle is @user_name, similar to Facebook
@user_name
Tumblr uses a Redis queuing system (like Resque) I believe to handle the volume.
Do a callback (as you mentioned) and hand it off to Resque. (There was a Railscasts about Resuqe recently)