I would like when my app starts for it to show an Alert view for about 5 seconds, then depending on the outcome of a background process, it will show another Alert view.
you block the main thread in you way.
i think it seems that you just want the user not to do anything before the first 5 sec(to let you connection connect successfully?), if so, lots ways could do that, e.g. just show a view on the top of the window, until you want the user can do something, you can show the disappear button on that view or just disappear it immediately.