I have a AspxGridView that has a checkbox dataitemTemplate inside a gridViewDatacheckColumn. Now I want to find that control for each row and uncheck/check them on runtime.
You are using wrong method ASPxGridView.FindRowTemplateControl which searches for the specified server control contained within the specified data row's template.
You should use the ASPxGridView.FindRowCellTemplateControl method to find a control residing in the column's DataItemTemplate container or specified data cell's template.
Please also refer to the Accessing Controls Contained within Templates topic
References:
ASPxGridView - How to find a control inside the DataItem template
Cant find ASPxTextBox control in DataItem template using FindRowTemplateControl