I am trying to quickly determine if a user_ID is the owner of a \'goal\'. I believe my SQL query is good, but I\'m trying to find a nice way of checking the result!
Don't bother with EXISTS. The in-line exists will always give one row containing "true" or "false".
You're looking for either "zero rows" or "at least one row" so change the query to something like this and then check how many rows are returned
SELECT 1 FROM goals WHERE goal_ID='$obj_id' AND user_ID='$user_id' LIMIT 1