I\'m trying to figure out a way to update a record without having to list every column name that needs to be updated.
For instance, it would be nice if I could use so
It's not possible.
What you're trying to do is not part of SQL specification and is not supported by any database vendor. See the specifications of SQL UPDATE statements for MySQL, Postgresql, MSSQL, Oracle, Firebird, Teradata. Every one of those supports only below syntax:
UPDATE table_reference
SET column1 = {expression} [, column2 = {expression}] ...
[WHERE ...]