http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Upsert
Insert Update stored proc on SQL Server
Is there some clever way to do this in SQLite that I have not thought of?
Updates from Bernhardt:
You can indeed do an upsert in SQLite, it just looks a little different than you are used to. It would look something like:
INSERT INTO table_name (id, column1, column2)
VALUES ("youruuid", "value12", "value2")
ON CONFLICT(id) DO UPDATE
SET column1 = "value1", column2 = "value2"