A full year of time and labor after asking this, I've finally open sourced my version of var_dump, Kint. Read about it in the project page, or directly in github.
Here's a screenshot:
Sorry for the plug :)
EDIT: I'd just like to remind the commenters, that this is not a support forum, if you're having problems/want a feature, please file an issue. Support requesting comments will be flagged for deletion.