Lets say this is the database structure:
SELECT * FROM `pms` where
This assumes id
is an auto-increment column:
SELECT MAX(id) AS id
FROM pms
WHERE id_to = 1 OR id_from = 1
GROUP BY (IF(id_to = 1, id_from, id_to))
Assuming you have id_from
and id_to
indexed, this variation will most likely perform better because MySQL doesn't know what to do with an OR:
SELECT MAX(id) AS id FROM
(SELECT id, id_from AS id_with
FROM pms
WHERE id_to = 1
UNION ALL
SELECT id, id_to AS id_with
FROM pms
WHERE id_from = 1) t
GROUP BY id_with
Here's how to get the messages for those ids:
SELECT * FROM pms WHERE id IN
(SELECT MAX(id) AS id FROM
(SELECT id, id_from AS id_with
FROM pms
WHERE id_to = 1
UNION ALL
SELECT id, id_to AS id_with
FROM pms
WHERE id_from = 1) t
GROUP BY id_with)