Portable scripting language for a multi-server admin?

Question

Please Note: Portable as in portableapps.com, not in the traditional sense of a language that can be used on multiple architectures or operating systems. Whoeve

Answer 1

Every somewhat modern Windows version comes pre-installed with both VBScript and JScript. The doesn't meet all your features (compile to an executable comes to mind), but they certainly have an unbeatable advantage with the installation size: it's hard to beat 0.