Boost provides a sample atomically reference counted shared pointer
Here is the relevant code snippet and the explanation for the various orderings used:
From, http://en.cppreference.com/w/cpp/atomic/memory_order
memory_order_acquire -- A load operation with this memory order performs the acquire operation on the affected memory location: prior writes made to other memory locations by the thread that did the release become visible in this thread.
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Release-Acquire ordering
If an atomic store in thread A is tagged std::memory_order_release and an atomic load in thread B from the same variable is tagged std::memory_order_acquire, all memory writes (non-atomic and relaxed atomic) that happened-before the atomic store from the point of view of thread A, become visible side-effects in thread B, that is, once the atomic load is completed, thread B is guaranteed to see everything thread A wrote to memory.
The synchronization is established only between the threads releasing and acquiring the same atomic variable. Other threads can see different order of memory accesses than either or both of the synchronized threads.
On strongly-ordered systems (x86, SPARC TSO, IBM mainframe), release-acquire ordering is automatic for the majority of operations. No additional CPU instructions are issued for this synchronization mode, only certain compiler optimizations are affected (e.g. the compiler is prohibited from moving non-atomic stores past the atomic store-release or perform non-atomic loads earlier than the atomic load-acquire). On weakly-ordered systems (ARM, Itanium, PowerPC), special CPU load or memory fence instructions have to be used.
This means that release allows other threads to synchronize pending operations from current thread, while the later acquire fetches all modified changes from the other threads.
On strongly-ordered systems, this is not as important. I don't think these instructions even generate code as the CPU automatically locks cache lines before any writes can occur. The cache is guaranteed to be consistent. But on weekly ordered systems, while atomic operations are well defined, there could be pending operations to other parts of memory.
So, let's say threads A and B and both share some data D.
with the thread fence acquire before delete, the current thread synchronizes all pending operations from other threads in its address space. And when delete happens, it sees what A did in #1.