This is specifically geared towards managing MP3 files, but it should easily work for any directory structure with a lot of files.
I want to find or write a daemon (pref
IMO, the best media player that has these features is Winamp. It rescans the music folders every X minutes, which is enough for music (but of course a little less efficient than letting the operating system watch for changes).
But as you were asking for suggestions on writing your own, you could make use of pyinotify (Linux only). If you're running Windows, you can use the ReadDirectoryChangesW API call