This is specifically geared towards managing MP3 files, but it should easily work for any directory structure with a lot of files.
I want to find or write a daemon (pref
Another answer already suggested pyinotify for Linux, let me add watch_directory for Windows (a good discussion of the possibilities in Windows is here, the module's an example) and fsevents on the Mac (unfortunately I don't think there's a single cross-platform module offering a uniform interface to these various system-specific ways to get directory-change notification events).
Once you manage to get such events, updating an appropriate SQL database is simple!-)