I\'m using delphi for years, but never for database stuff, but recently started researching and testing.
I must say, i\'m impressed, most of things happens automatically
-- Data access components
I too favour the combination of TClientDataset and ADO. Had worked with it in past and I can say it's trustful. The flexibility of TClientDataset is a big gain. DBExpress is good too. Actually, I use clientdatasets with pretty much any data access layer that have an TDataset descendant...
-- Server
Firebird. Free and easily usable from OLEDB (I used with ODBC) and DBExpress (D2010+ have native DBX driver) - don't know ZEOS, but I believe that it also connect to FB. Scale well to many connections and big databases. There are databases on Firebird with 500Gb and many users reported.