You may be interested in an article I wrote a while ago on how to calculate the memory usage of a Java object. It is admittedly aimed primarily at 32-bit Hotspot, although much of it applies in essence to other environments.
You can also download a simple agent for measuring Java object size from the same site which will take some of the hard work out of it for you and should work in 64-bit environments.
Note as others have I think mentioned that the serialised form of an object isn't the same as its form in memory, so using serialisation isn't suitable if you want to measure the memory footprint accurately.
