I have found that boost::signals2 uses sort of a lazy deletion of connected slots, which makes it difficult to use connections as something that manages lifetimes of objects. I
I ended up doing my own (subset) implementation of a signal, the main requirement being that a slot should be destroyed by a call to connection::disconnect().
The implementation goes along the lines of the signal storing all slots in a map from slot implementation pointer to a shared_ptr for a slot implementation instead of a list/vector, thereby giving quick access to individual slots without having to iterate over all slots. A slot implementation is in my case basically a boost::function.
Connections have a weak_ptr to the internal implementation class for the signal and a weak_ptr to the slot implementation type to allow the signal to go out of scope and to use the slot pointer as the key into the signal map as well as an indication on whether the connection is still active (can't use a raw pointer as that could potentially be reused).
When disconnect is called, both of these weak pointers are converted to shared_ptrs and if both of these succeed, the signal implementation is asked to disconnect the slot given by the pointer. This is done by simple erasing it from the map.
The map is protected by a mutex to allow for multithreaded use. To prevent deadlocks, the mutex is not held while calling the slots, however this means that a slot may be disconnected from a different thread just prior to being called by the signal. This is also the case with regular boost::signals2 and in both of these scenarios one needs to be able to handle a callback from a signal even after one has disconnected.
To simplify the code for when the signal is fired, I am forcing all slots to be disconnected during this. This is different from boost::signals2, that does a copy of the list of slots before calling them in order to handle disconnections/connections while firing the signal.
The above works well for my scenario, where the signal of interest is fired very seldom (and in that case only once) but there are a lot of short-lived connections that otherwise use up a lot of memory even when using the trick outlined in the question.
For other scenarios, I've been able to replace the use of a signal with just a boost::function (thus requiring that there can only be a single connection) or just by sticking with the workaround in the question where the listener itself manages its lifetime.